Her grandmother, as she gets older, is not fading but rather becoming more concentrated. - Paulette Bates Alden
NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party. - Ambrose Bierce
You won't be able to find it out for yourself in any library or archive, either, because my grandmother has carefully and systematically destroyed every shred of evidence. - Katie Crouch and Grady Hendrix, The White Glove War
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is. - Ellen DeGeneres
[M]y grandmother and I sit across from each other at the Gryphon Tea Room, on the grandest section of Bull Street. - Katie Crouch and Grady Hendrix, The White Glove War
I shall never have a bath again," I said. "Just dont have one too often," my grandmother said. "Once a month is quite enough for a sensible child." It was at times like these that I loved my grandmother more than ever. - Roald Dahl
Any great truth can -- and eventually will -- be expressed as a cliche -- a cliche is a sure and certain way to dilute an idea. For instance, my grandmother used to say, 'The black cat is always the last one off the fence.' I have no idea what she meant, but at one time, it was undoubtedly true. - Solomon Short
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. - Henny Youngman
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. - Ellen DeGeneres
And like that, I said goodbye to my grandmother like we were two people who met in a coffee shop, shared a lifetime of stories and left wanting more, but knowing we’d meet there again. - Darnell Lamont Walker
I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty, I told her.Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring. - Bill Cosby
Her grandmother had once told her that one of life's best lessons was not being afraid to look foolish -- to just ask the question. - Melissa Senate
I told my kids I just want three words on my tombstone, if I have one. I'll probably be cremated. One is "woman." I'm very comfortable in that role. I've loved being a woman, I've loved being a mother, I've loved being a grandmother. I want three words: Woman, Atheist, Anarchist. That's me. - Madalyn Murray O'Hair
The older lady smiled a friendly welcome that rivaled her preserves for sweet appeal. She could have been someone’s grandmother complete with close-cropped white hair if she wasn’t wearing a worn Grateful Dead T-shirt over a long-sleeved thermal. The 1987 Summer Tour. - Kathy Bryson, Fighting Mad
A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck
I've always liked Anna, but according to my mother, her family is complete New Money, and my grandmother has pointed out on several occasions that they're not even really Southern. - Katie Crouch and Grady Hendrix, The White Glove War
My grandmother always told me: beauty fades but dumb is forever. - Judge Judy Sheindlin
[W]hat my grandmother and my mother and I all know is that our beauty is no miracle. It is bought and paid for. - Katie Crouch and Grady Hendrix, The White Glove War
You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. - Albert Einstein
I realized what my grandmother told me about life,when i was 7years,my son,never use someone success as your race. - Uche Daniel Oluwaseun
I could not imagine my youngest standing above her soiled grandmother in the wing chair and saying, "mother, let's kill her. "That's the only choice. - Alice Sebold
When my mother died, I thought I’d drown in sorrow. But my grandmother said something very wise, and I’ve always held it close to my heart. She said that not even the sea is infinite, and neither is grief. - T. Frohock
If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett
It was my grandmother who first told me that a woman marries a man in the belief that he'll change but he doesn't -- and a man marries a woman in the belief that she won't change but she does. - James Carlos Blake
The word "good" has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good shot, but not necessarily a good man. - G.K. Chesterton